Hold On
by CurtCade
Summary: Wally never knew how his fathers met. So when he finally asks, for a school assignment, he finds it's much more tragic then he thought. Songfic based off of Terrible Things by Mayday Parade.


Wally watched as the school bus drove away, off to the next stop. He turned on his heels and walked quickly into the apartment building. He waved to the familiar faces of the other residents and made a quick dash for the stairs, knowing the elevator would take ages.

He made his way up to the fourth story and watched the numbers on the doors as he passed by, searching for his.

Wally smiled as he found it and he quickly got a room key out of his back pocket and opened the door.

"Dad, I'm home!" he called into the room.

"I'll be one second!" his father replied, voice muffled by the wall. Wally's face dropped as he realized his father was probably in his room, looking through pictures. He did it almost regularly and Wally never understood why. The only things Wally seemed to notice about the pictures was his father's ridiculous hair.

His dad emerged from the room moments later, smile on his face but fading tear tracks evident.

"So what's new and hip at school?" he smiled, sitting down on the couch.

"Dad, we've talked about this. Just stick to regular terms and you'll be fine. But please, for the love of god, never try speaking in slang."

His dad nodded and laughed. "You know I'm only teasing," Wally rolled his eyes and took a seat next to him. "Alright but really, what new happened at school?"

Wally sighed before taking his backpack off his shoulder and getting out a pad of paper and a pencil.

"Mrs. Collins wants us to write about something we don't know very much about, something about expanding our minds," He rolled his eyes once again. "And I was wondering if I could write on how you and Dad met?"

His father sighed and looked down at his hands. It was silent for a moment. Wally sensed the awkwardness and slowly started getting up. "I'm sorry, I can always write about something-"

"No, it's- it's alright." His father replied shakily. "It's just been so long I don't have it crystal clear in my head anymore." He faked a laugh as he lied through his teeth. Of course he remembered. Who wouldn't forget their love?

Wally held a sympathetic expression on his face as his father took a deep breath and closed his eyes. One last shaky breath and he turned to him.

"Well I guess we should start at the very beginning. I was about your age at the time and I was working at my uncle's café. I had been in a rut the past few months; nothing seemed to be going my way. That was until your father stepped through the door and changed my life for the better."

-line break-

"Kendall I just don't know what to do with my life anymore. I'm stuck in a rut." James sighed as he hunched over slightly and brought the towel down from his shoulder as he cleaned the table.

"Well James-y boy, no one is going to dig out that rut for you. So either keep sulking in it or get a shovel and dig your way out." His green-eyed friend and co-worker chuckled. He brought the dishes into a bin and lifted it up to bring it to the kitchen.

As Kendall walked away, James sighed and stopped momentarily with his table cleaning. He looked to the napkin holder and saw his reflection. He winked before putting on a serious face.

"Sulk or dig yourself out." He repeated. He stood there in silence until he noticed another form appeared in the napkin holder. James quickly shot up and composed himself before sneaking a glance at the two brunets that walked in the door. They walked over to the bar and sat down.

James quickly finished cleaning the table and walked behind the bar.

"Hello and welcome to Diamonds Diner. What can I get you to drink?" he asked, eyeing the shorter brunet.

"I'll just have some water." He replied, head looking down somewhat.

James moved his gaze over to the other brunet.

"I'll take a coke." He smiled. James nodded and went to get the drinks.

As he walked away, the taller brunet turned to the shorter one.

"Hey Logan, did you see that guy? Oh of course you did. He's the whole reason you come to this place." He teased, and got a punch in the arm as a present.

"Shut up Dak. You aren't helping." Logan smirked nonetheless.

"What are older brothers for? Also, what would be the point of staying for a weekend and not having any fun?" Dak laughed.

They both looked over the menu before James came back and deposited the drinks in front of the respective customers.

"So what can I get you to eat?" James asked, smile as bright as ever. He looked to Logan once more but Dak spoke up before he could say anything.

"I'll take the double cheeseburger." He smiled. James held a look of annoyance on his face for a split second before writing it down and adorning his smile once again. "And for you, sir?" he gestured to Logan.

Said man's face started getting pink and his hands fiddled with the menu. "I'll have the club house with no tomatoes, please."

James wrote it down and smiled as he went back to give the order.

"Alright, I have to go to the washroom. I'll be back in a flash." Dak said before getting up and making his way to the other end of the diner, to the restrooms.

Logan nodded and looked down at the counter. He heard a crashing noise and looked up to see James with an 'oh' look on his face as he dropped the plate.

Logan, being the good person he was, immediately got up and helped James with the mess.

"You know you don't have to help me." James laughed. He looked up and saw Logan blush slightly but still cleaning nonetheless.

"I know but I might as well." He laughed. He raised his head too and they locked eyes.

Logan's face turned even redder. James mentally noted how beautiful his eyes were. And everything else about him too, of course.

Once the two had cleaned it all up, James thanked Logan one last time and Dak got back from the washroom.

He noticed Logan's face red as can be. A moment of silence passed before he sighed.

"Alright, what did he say?"

Logan snapped out of his daze. "Oh, n-nothing. It's just, _him_." He said, not knowing how else to explain it.

"Wow, you really are in too deep with this crush." Dak joked.

As he finished saying that, another waiter came out of the kitchen with their food. She placed the plates in front of the respective recipients and flashed a smile while walking away.

When James got back into the kitchen, he looked at the clock and realized his shift was over.

James checked to make sure the next shifters were there and when they were, he started getting ready to leave. He clocked out and grabbed his keys out of his pocket and made his way to the door.

James gently pushed the door open and started walking slowly toward his car.

"Logan, nows your chance dude. Go ask him out. Now." Dak ordered. And with a little nudging, he got Logan outside and before you knew it, he was speed walking to make it to James before he left.

-line break-

"Wow so that's really how he asked you out on your first date?" Wally chuckled, jotting small notes down.

"Yeah, it's actually pretty funny now that I think about it. But I wouldn't have had it any other way." James reasoned.

Wally wrote a few more notes before looking up at his father, expecting him to continue the story.

"So what happened next?"

"Well, since you already know how we met, I guess now I'll get to the next big part."

Wally nodded and brushed the hair out of his eyes.

"Everything was going smoothly, Logan and I were having the time of our lives, and we couldn't give a care for just about anything we did. All that mattered was that we were together."

-line break-

"James come on! You're being so slow!" Logan laughed as he dragged James along by his arm. They were at an amusement park and Logan wanted to go to his all time favorite roller coaster.

"Alright, alright. Calm your horses." James said. James felt as if he kept getting butterflies that made him unable to walk every time he saw Logan smile or saw him laugh.

They waited and waited, and finally they were in the cart, ready to go.

As they went through the bumps, the drops and the twist and turns of the ride, Logan clung to James. He didn't really need to, he loved these kinds of rides and he loved putting his hands in the air. However, he thought it would be fun to see what James was going to do.

The pair got off and went to go look at their photos. They both laughed at each others faces.

Three weeks after, the dynamic duo was making their way to a concert. This time, having switched roles, James was pulling Logan along.

The two had sand along to the lyrics, jumped and screamed to their hearts desires. Logan loved seeing James so energetic and so enthused. He could tell he was really enjoying it. That was really all that mattered, right?

-line break-

James' voice trailed off with a sigh.

"And that's where we get to the part where my life went from perfect to disastrous in a matter of weeks."

He looked out the window and a sob was let out.

"Dad, we don't need to continue this if you don't want to." Wally reassured, sensing the sadness coming off his father in waves.

Once again, James pushed it away and took a deep breath. "Wally, I'm fine, really. All I have to say about this next part is this, life can do terrible things."

-line break-

Logan was once again lying in front of the toilet, puking his guts out. He had been getting sick very frequently the past few weeks. James was getting concerned.

As Logan finished he weakly got up, supporting himself on the rail, and wiped his mouth. James walked over from his spot at the door and put an arm around Logan's waist, supporting him.

"Logan, I'm really worried about you. This is your third fever in the past three months." James whispered, laying Logan down on the bed.

"I'm fine James, really. I just need some rest. I'm really tired." Logan croaked his voice hoarse.

James wanted to continue disputing with him but he knew it was no use; Logan seemed to be tired all the time.

James hadn't put a lot more thought into it until he saw Logan the next day getting changed.

There were small bruises scattered everywhere, and it was obvious he had lost some weight. But when James confronted him about it, Logan simply brushed it off as him not being able to eat since he's always sleeping and how it was taking a toll on his body.

James didn't have much medical expertise so he couldn't tell if Logan was bs-ing him. All he could really be sure of was that he would be there for Logan no matter what.

From that moment, it was a full two days before James managed to get Logan to go to the doctor.

When Logan came back, James' world came crashing down.

The one words James hadn't known would even be possible to come out of Logan's mouth, the word he now hated with all his being.

_Cancer_.

Months had passed. Logan had gotten worse. James tried to support him throughout the whole thing as best he could, but it was hard at times, not knowing entirely what would happen to Logan.

James thought it couldn't get much worse, I mean Logan already had enough crap to go through.

He was wrong.

_Three weeks_.

Logan had three weeks to live. Three fucking weeks.

James had cried himself to sleep that night, holding Logan's hand at his bedside.

There were moments that were full of joy and happiness, despite the somber situation but then James would look around and remember what was happening and he would end up letting fresh tears fall down his face.

Logan had tried comforting him, trying to convince him it could be worse but James didn't see how that was possible.

Oh how James wished they could switch places. Of all the people in the world, Logan deserved it the least.

The night James died inside was the night when he was woken up by the feeling of being pushed away. When he came to, he opened his eyes to see Logan surrounded by doctors, using a defibrillator. Logan's body heaved each time they sent a surge of electricity into him, trying to revive him but nothing worked.

James heard the noise of the flat lined EKG, but it didn't acknowledge until a doctor had come checked his watch and called the time of death.

He stood silently, frozen in his spot.

It wasn't until all the doctors left that he ran to Logan's bedside and broke down. He pleaded and pleaded for him to come back, he begged him not to do this to him. It wasn't his time yet, he had his whole life ahead of him.

The doctors had come back and were forced to pull him out of the room, kicking and screaming. He yelled for someone to give his Logie back. He cried and told them to take him instead.

He hadn't left his apartment in weeks. There wasn't any point, Logan was gone.

Kendall had stopped by every now and then, trying to get him to come out but James stood persistent and stayed secluded.

The first time he left his apartment in three weeks was when Kendall told him they were going for a ride. He kept telling James to get dressed until he actually did.

James was zoned out the entire ride, thoughts drifting away to where his life was supposed to be going now.

"We're here." Kendall's voice broke him out of his thoughts.

With James being no help, Kendall led him to the gravestone they were looking for.

"Kendall, why would you bring me here?" James whispered, his teeth grinding against each other.

"So you could say your formal goodbyes." He said before patting James on the back and started walking back to the car.

James had no words to say, he couldn't think of any.

"I-I miss you so much Logan. This isn't fair. You should be on your way to becoming a doctor right now, not lying in the ground."

He sat down in front of the grave.

"How long has it been? I think it's been about ten years since we first met. Logan, I never told you this but I wish I had. That day was the best day of my life and you want to know why?" he chuckled an empty chuckle. "You were the best thing that ever happened to me."

James had spent half an hour babbling, saying the things he never got a chance to.

He got up, and put his hand on the stone.

"Logan, I love you with all my heart and I hope I live to be half as wonderful as you ever were." James choked on a sob as he said it.

With that, he pat the grave one last time before slowly making his way back to the van, where Kendall was waiting.

"Thank you Kendall."

-line break-

Wally had tears forming in his eyes.

"Dad I'm so sorry. If I had known I never would have –" he started.

He was cut off by his father lunging at him and enveloping him in a hug, which Wally happily accepted. "Son, it's alright."

They sat there, hugging in a comfortable silence. They broke apart and Wally leaned back to run his hands over his face while James put his head in his hands.

"Dad I know it may not be the best thing to ask but did you ever talk to his brother afterward?"

James shook his head. "No. After it happened, I distanced myself from his family."

Wally knew then what he had to do.

A few weeks later, James was reading a book in the living room when a knock on the door was heard.

"I got it!" Wally yelled as he sprinted to the door.

He opened it and James was shocked to see who it was.

"D-Dak?" he sputtered.

Dak simply nodded. "It took some searching and some tracking down but I eventually found him and invited him over." Wally said proudly.

"W-why?" James asked, still confused.

"Because I have something for you." Dak stepped in and handed James a letter. "He really loved you, you know." He continued as he made his way to leave.

"You can come in you know, stay for a bit." Wally informed him. Dak simply shook his head and chuckled.

"No thanks kiddo. But tell your dad I'm sorry for not being able to give him that sooner, alright?" his voice drifted off as he left.

James sat on the couch, slowly opening the letter.

_Dear James,_

_If you're reading this, I've probably passed on. I am so sorry for leaving you behind James, I really am._

_I still remember our first meeting clear as day. That one day in the diner. It's funny when you think about it. Our first date all started because I helped you pick up a mess. That was when I got to catch a glimpse of who you were. That was what made me fall for you in the first place._

_You can thank Dak for giving me the courage to actually go ask you out for the first time. It led to so many wonderful memories I can't even believe they all really happened. It would be impossible for me to list my favorites, but I can tell you that I wouldn't have traded those moments for the world._

_Remember that one time we just layed in the park for hours, just staring up and watching the stars? That was when I got the time to think back and realize just how perfect everything was. _

_Listen, James, that day I told you that I was sick was one of the worst days of my life. Not because of the cancer coming back, but because of the look on your face when I told you. No person should have to go through seeing their other half deteriorate right in front of their eyes._

_I love you with all my heart and more James. I hope you know that. I love you to the moon and back. I just wish I could have been more for you, not have to make you go through this. You were the best thing that has ever been mine and I was glad to be able to be called yours._

_You are truly one of a kind James Diamond, never forget. Nothing is stronger than diamond and that's why I know you'll be able to get through this, you are strong enough to._

_I guess this is goodbye, I'll see you again sometime, hopefully not for a while though. I No matter how much you'll miss me please don't do anything rash James. Live your life to the fullest._

_I've said it before but I'll say it again. I love you with all my heart and I'm sorry I'm leaving you like this._

_Yours forever,_

_Logan._

That was the first night in years that James had a peaceful sleep.


End file.
